Bless you.

hahahahaha!

today = blah

i didn't work out this morning... i've been doing great this week (everyday until today. see,"blah")

i just didn't have any energy AT ALL-- which, might i add, is exactly the OPPOSITE of what SHOULD be happening. normally, you're supposed to have MORE energy when exercising.

blah.

ANNNND to top it off I'm anticipating "being bad" tonight (regarding my caloric intake for the day, that is). We're going to Chic Happy Hour with a couple of friends, and I'm sure I'll have more than a couple of drinks... I mean, I'm PLANNING on only having two. no more (and certainly no less). two vodka tonics. that's it.

ha.

yeah, we'll see how that goes.

i'm also planning on going to the gym as soon as i get home-- I have plenty of time before we're meeting up for CHH.

i'm writing all of this today because, again-- i'm anticipating some lack of follow-through on my part. perhaps this will make me feel more accountable...

time will tell.

i still think i'm gonna cheat.

blah.

2000Suck

I can't believe I've only blogged three times in the past 10 months. i suck.

priorities change. we get busy. the last thing i think of doing is updating a "frivolous" weblog. still... i kinda miss it.

not necessarily blogger, per se-- i do miss writing. letting my brain explode releasing my mind of all the daily/weekly/monthly/YEARLY crap that builds up and doesn't find a way out... writing had really always been my best outlet. i mean, that's kind of weird though-- for a visual artist. i've never really painted or anything to "release"... it's always been words. sometime collage... or both-- in the form of journaling.

weird.

anyway-- i do miss it. i think i need it. i'm needing that release. that outlet. i really need to make time for it... hmmmm. i guess it's not so frivolous afterall.

new bent focus website!!

...is up and running! :) :)

wow...

i can't believe it's been so long since my last post!!

i really hope to blog more in 2006... no, really-- i do.

i think it would be good for me. keep me focused. whatever.

i've just been so preoccupied with my photography stuff lately-- and with trying to figure out what's what, and where to go next with all of this... and when... and how! especially "how".

i really want to make HUGE progress-- leaps and bounds... but it's SUCH a slow process... and what with me not being very patient and all. it's hard.

i want to be where i want to be-- NOW. not in a year. BUT i know i have a lot to learn. a lot to figure out... not to mention, i still have that dreaded "day job" and all.

ok-- but i HAVE been continuously kicking ASS by going to the gym every morning before work... well, almost every morning (with a few exceptions over the holidays-- not just because they were "the holidays" but also because i have been sick off and on for well over a month. suck.)

i actually LIKE going now... who knew that'd ever happen!?

i'm still trying to find my inner bad-ass — she's still in there, and i'm working hard to free her!

"Progress"... that'll be my goal. my motto – my MANTRA, if you will, for 2006. As long as i'm making progress, i'm moving in the right direction.

baby steps.